It was only August, but Mandy was certain she better start making those beanies now, or she would have nothing to give her co-workers (down at the grocery store) nothing for Christmas.
She looked through her balls and skeins of yarn. She'd always loved to crochet, even if she didn't do it all that well. She was certain the beanies would not be right. There had always been something a little off with her. It was something she knew from her earliest memory of school.
Mandy was a wall-flower. A small little thing from the get go. Even in the womb, they hadn't counted on her to be much more that an a munchkin. Her birth-weight was low and she was tiny.
She was still tiny with a tiny voice which rarely spoke.
If she thought about it much, she would find herself in tears. And maybe she'd been selfish to take up with Zac.
Yes, it was the strangest thing.
She couldn't say it was a romance. Because, most days she was invisible to him..and then she wasn't.
Some might say it was a tragic thing.
Now, she sucked in a breath and hurried to turn the skeins of bright colors that laid on her bed into balls of yarn she could organize for her beanies.
Yes, she'd become a little factory and get right on her long Christmas list of beanies. She would give one to the homeless guy who hung out near the grocery store. She would remember to make two for the woman who was pregnant with the baby boy.
Maybe, she would make crochet bowls. She smiled, almost, thinking how she'd made one for the new girl at work, on her birthday. Cali had worn it on her head, like a hat. She was so proud of it.
Yes, maybe she did have one follower. Mandy had tried to tell her it was something she could put her hair ribbons in, or her makeup..but Cali still wore it has a hat.
Now Cali was off to the University, a place Mandy longed to be, but her grades weren't quite good enough.
No, she was never good enough..
She would never be good enough for Zac.
Maybe that was why she was closed mouth about their excursions. She would wait..until the next time he needed her.
Even so, it was like being with a lion in a cage. No where to go.
If she were a survivor, she would never admit to it.