November Woes

Why is there a certain sadness in November? The cold seems to bring with it a chill to the bone these days. Last weekend, I pulled something in my leg when I was carrying in the groceries. That was the last thing I expect, yet it messed my whole week up. I felt so old and brittle.

Luckily, I've been using BALANCE (an essential oil remedy) it's at least helped my well being. Maybe not all my stiff moves. Yet, I have kept moving and that has helped the most.

I'm glad Lady GaGa brought up "depression" in her long speech (recently at some award show). We don't like to talk about it, yet each of us has to cope with it in some form or factor. It could be your mood or the thought that evolving doesn't mean you'll be the self you were at a younger age. Even in those younger years, there were probably sad thoughts, too, from time to time.

I thought of the time..it was fall, I was probably third grade and a friend from the city came out to visit from the city while I was living with the grandparents. She was so excited being in the country. She wanted us to go for a walk. And I felt like it was good to be in her company since she had a way of making everything so fun. Even if it really wasn't, but I didn't feel so frightened.

Then, her mom came over the hill from which we walked. She was in her car. They needed to get back to the city. Suddenly, I was alone and I remembered all the things that frightened me. Wayward coyotes. Rattles snakes. Even sharp rocks. Why had I come this far with her? Maybe we weren't really friends at all. It seemed she was pleased that I would have to stay and she could go back to her comfortable suburban home.

Yes, at that time, I didn't really have any friends. I was having to stay at the grandparents while my parents figured out their own life. She didn't know how many days I spent alone. It wasn't until then I felt she needed to be entertained. It was apparent she didn't want my desolate existence.

But we don't want to bring each other down. So I had to calm myself with a song. Oh, no one was listening. Probably, a lot like now.