Friday, May 14, 2010

the last thing I expected

I still don't know what to think. Really!

What would you do if this guy shows up out of nowhere asking for you? I mean, I thought for sure he was going to sale me an encyclopedia set or something. But there he was. Wanting to see me.

No, I didn't win the lottery, but it kind of felt like it. This warm feeling I got. The shock. Not sure to be happy or sad. I could hardly listen. You know, just sitting there looking at those eyes. That face.

That's my dad. My real, dad.

I felt so sad for him because..because I think he really wanted me, and no one ever told me any of this stuff.

A part of me wanted to call up my Mom and yell at her. Then I have to remember she adopted me. You know. I'm adopted. I was adopted for all the reason I didn't even think about.

All this time, I kept thinking they didn't want me because I would cost them too much with my ear operations and the way I talk. I had no idea I'd be so infamous. I guess.

Now, I just want to know more about my real Mom.

A part of me wants to appreciate the Mom who raised me, but at the moment we are on the outs. She's been so bitter with me ever since moving in with Roger. I'm just not the daughter they raised. Evidently.

I just want to get to know my real Dad even if I kind of miss the Dad I've always known. But its all so stressed at the moment.

I feel bad that My great Aunt has kept this from me all this time. Wait a minute?

She's my grandmother.

I feel so confused and mixed up. Kind of shaky. Sad. Happy. This is definitely the last thing I expected.

1 comment:

meg said...

I liked this.