No Better Than Before

Shan kept to himself. What a fiasco. Could he even call it that.

"No, there is no one." He assured Lily when she made her daily call. Lily was always finding someone. Usually, to hook up with. She went to parties, but she could find someone in the most unlikely places. Like the grocery store.

Naturally, it grossed Shan out. He did not want to hear how she actually made out with someone in a restroom stall. But his best friend was fierce. Practically, the girl without a fear gene.

"You're nothing like you seem." Lily told him. "You know, you're just a weenie."

"Thanks for clarifying that, Lil." He rolled his eyes, thinking all he might be good for was going out to the lake smoking some weed alone and looking for frogs on the shore line with huge prong that his Dad used occasionally for grilling when he could find it. Shan kept it in his room. He was eying it right now.

He wouldn't mind a meal of frog legs. He needed something to do. Stop thinking about that guy at the library.

Shan kept listening to Lily talk about all her late summer plans before school started. He nursed his bottom lip. How in the hell was he going to get this guy out of his mind. No way would someone so cultured, who looked as if he were ready for tea and cucumber sandwiches, would have anything to do with a Neanderthal like him.

"You should go camping with us, this weekend," Lily said.

"No." Shan snapped. What would he do with a bunch of funny girls.

"I just worry about you, you know. I don't like that you are so alone." Lily reminded him with a very sad voice.

"I'm not alone." But he actually was. So alone. More alone than ever before. No Mom that he loved to talk too. He was trying to stay under the radar with his Dad and his family. Shan kept staring at his big fork to kill frogs.

Going to the lake and smoking his stash in the underwear drawer was the only way to go. But as soon as he hung up the phone, his step-mom had other plans.

"Why don't you take your sister to the movies."

Shan tucked the weapon behind his back.

"But..." He wanted to say that she wasn't his real sister. He didn't have any siblings. He was far to old to think about them now. "Sure." He said quickly. This was no time to argue.